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Saturday, April 23, 2011

LOVE, LIFE AND RELATIONSHIP - 2

“Do you believe in distant relationship? I mean, when you are in relationship, your beloved is in other place, is it possible to carry relationship till you both get reunited with same passion, same love and feelings?” was a question from my friend to me when one evening he visited me. I could answer “yes” but I stopped and asked a question to him, “why are you asking so?” Without any hesitation, he continued, “well, what have I seen in college campus and heard a lot from my friends too. In fact, one of my friends suffered same. I mean, when someone love each other and get separated unfortunately, what happens that lead finally into break up?” I didn’t know why it happened to me, though usually it never happens, I smiled with a great deal, thanks that I prevented myself bursting into laughter and said in a jocular tone, “now, who want to spend 50 paisa per minute call when you can talk without spending a penny (after one time recharge, may of 50 or 100) from break of dawn till night?” In fact, you might know that RIM, how much costly their coupons are for free STD? Rs 750. OMG!!!! Okay, tell me when you want some stuff in college campus, will you go to nearest city to buy it?” without a delay, he responded, no. Exactly, this much what I could say when I saw his serious face, without a streak of smile. I understood what he was thinking. Time to become serious. I stopped laughing and thought for a while and then elucidated him, “listen, It was also enigmatic to me that how that flowery adolescence those two juveniles develops love during either school time or college time, what happens that after one or two years, one them get crashed on hearing that his/her partner is with somebody else or relationships shatters. How, I mean how and why it happens? How love shifts? How sweet feelings turn into bitter? And why only a few couples could carry relationship till it destinations? I was blank over this but now, I can say something about this. It mayn’t be correct in every aspect because I don’t know everything. You know, Distance is a dangerous thing. It changes everything, every emotion, every feeling. People always want to live in his/her comfort zone. You are comfortable with me, you are talking to me, when you don’t, and you will not talk to me. What I have observed that when two separates, lots of things affect their relationship. I can’t list all the possibility but few I can say. One thing, I must tell you that not, all but most of today’s relationship are established on a weak bases. And you can easily that the fate of a building constructed on a weak base?

“it collapse within few year,” he said.

Exactly, I said and continued. Loss of understanding is the biggest problem. As they separate, their capability to understand each other also widens. And it leads to loss of trust. Trust the base of every relationship. A body without a soul is same as a relationship without trust. When trust fades, suspicion grows; the biggest evil of any relationship. You can’t pull a thread as much as you want because how long you pull, it get weakens on each pull, and finally it breaks, its elasticity gets over. And the relationship that both had nurtured with their honest and true feelings, those dreams they see together shatters. It is common reason that I have seen. And few pathetic ones think that he/she are there, why should not I do some fun here? And both start cheating each to other and finally end in nothing.

“you mean, you are saying there is nothing called distant relationship?” he asked.

“ I never said so. Till 1950, reaching on moon was impossible but not now. So, I think nothing is impossible. If it is a case of distant relationship, I can say that understanding is the most important. Trust your partner till end. Always think of precious, lovely you have spent together and just think of future, a lovely, blissful life you both are about to spend together.”

“If he/ she cheats????”

“Then also good. Because at the end, you will get most perfect partner or a good lesson. And you will replace me in this blog and somebody else will take your place.” And I started smiling with a great deal. He started laughing.

Friday, April 1, 2011

A THOUGHFUL EVENING

A few days back, it was dusk when ephemeral orange of sky on the other horizon was wriggling into dark; I was lying on bed tired and frazzled. My roommate was out of room, might be for a cup of tea and snacks. After sometime, the closed door just opened and pair of eyes looked at me. I noticed and sat down on the bed. He was one of my friends came to meet me. He slowly came into room smiling and sat on the bed. I reciprocated the same. Till now, I shifted to my chair kept beside my bed. I love to sit on chair and talk to anyone and asked cheerfully “how are you?” he replied genially. After few chit chat, he asked a question. It was not expected such type of question. He said, “Sanjeev, I want to ask you one thing that I also have some interest. I know you are quite good at understanding human behavior, in prediction what is going on someone’s mind. How do you do this in such fickle world?”

I was little surprised because I never felt that I am good at understanding human behavior. Though I am a Samaritan, I counsel lots of people personally, by emails etc. then only I came to know lot about different behavior, problems and devoted myself to give them best solution to their problems. To my surprise, I got good results and people living their life joyfully. I am happy to see this.

But when he asked such question, I grew puzzled and sank into deep thought. I became silent and looked considerate. Lots of things were going on inside my mind because according to me, understanding human behavior, there is no any formula. Since I didn’t want to disappoint him, after few minutes, finally I looked at him. It seemed that his eyes were looking for answers. Finally, I spoke to him, “your words too kind to me. Thank for you that. I don’t know to put this but I think understanding behavior, three things are there. Observe carefully; listen intently and speak meticulously. When someone comes to me and speak to me, I use to observe his/her precisely. His/her tones, gestures, body languages. I try to drown myself into his/her anxiety, pain, listen words intently. Then I speak choosing words carefully, effectively. Anyway, it also took me two years to come to this level but I think I still work hard to do it more effectively.”

Till now, he sat crossed legged on bed and took pillow. Then suddenly, I smiled and said, “Let me tell one perfect example. You take pillow because this makes you comfortable. This is how I come to know what is going inside anyone’s mind.”

I felt good when I saw a glaze of satisfaction his face. He smiled more and said “a perfect example of pragmatism.” I smiled at his kind word again and came out of room.

“Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier."

Happy to help you. Feel free to contact me. My email id: sanjeev.ranjan91@gmail.com